Nurturing Your Asperger’s Child

You want to find out more about Asperger’s Syndrome, which is more and more common these days. You are learning about what doctors are calling the autism spectrum, which ranges from odd-normal on the one hand to seriously impaired, especially socially, on the other. You desperately want to help your child move toward normalcy on the spectrum. Do not give up! It is quite possible that he can. You need to provide him with situations that will give him self-confidence. If you don’t, the world will deal him the opposite.

Your child can study music. He may even discover that he is gifted at it, as many autistic people are. He may have perfect pitch, as many autistic people do. Music lessons in childhood can bear fruit for a lifetime. But finding the right teacher can be a challenge. The typical teacher may be wary of an unusual student like yours. But a music therapist wouldn’t, or perhaps a family friend or family member. Your student will require special patience and also a reward system for practicing. But you need a reward system anyway to get your child to do chores and homework without whining.

Your child probably tends to isolate himself, and may love to talk and talk about one subject. Patience! During the middle school years, your child will probably begin to be more aware that he is being rejected socially. Finally, he may be motivated to try to change his ways! Look for this developmental stage, and when it arrives, do everything you can to teach your child social acceptability.

Steps you can take are:

* Therapy groups that teach social skills, led by a social worker, speech therapist, or other professional.

* Teach him skills yourself, planning the session out beforehand. You can set aside time every day to work on conversation skills, for example.

* Enrolling him in a school for kids with special needs. Such a school can teach him social skills in a supportive environment. Your child desperately needs coaching. If he is mainstreamed in a regular school, he may be exposed to bullying and may not get the coaching he needs.

Bullying has lasting damaging effects on your child’s self-esteem.

Mainstreaming may just be exposing your child to negative interactions, not positive ones. If this is necessary for your situation, see if you can volunteer at the school to be nearby, or get the school to hire a shadow for your child. Then talk to that person and tell him exactly what you want them to do: protect the child from negative interactions with peers. Our culture tolerates bullying and negative teasing, but both of those will be damaging to your child.

* Homeschooling may be another option for you. There is plenty of information on the Internet available for this.

* A private special-needs school may be able to protect your child by controlling most interactions between peers.

So remember, it’s your job to protect your child’s self-esteem.