My Very Own Habit

We all have our favorite comfort food. For me it’s Jack in the Box tacos and Wheat Thins. I am guessing you crave your comfort food or snack when you are tired, lonely sad or even happy. I know I do! If you had tasted this food as an adult, you most likely would never eat it again, but still you find yourself drawn to it. I know, it’s just not logical.

In reality the logic is simple, you have an emotional attachment to the food you are eating. I can justify eating my favorite tacos because I think it will make me feel happy, content or calm, I am guessing you feel the same way about your food. You know the food is not good for you, but subconsciously you think it will. After a while you begin to believe the food will make you feel better and because our mind believes this, you do feel better, but the effect is short lived.

Guilt kicks in after only a few bites. However this does not stop me from eating one taco, or even my second one! I am sure you know this feeling, it is very frustrating. I know I should not be eating the oddly textured, greasy taco but I really feel like eating it. I have the same cravings, longing and urge to devour that taco, the same as you.

Demolishing the taco is a habit and the habit was learned through different ways. I learned the love of the taco by going to the beach. I was seven or eight years old maybe. I was with my family on the way to the beach in Southern California. We were talking about Jack in the Box tacos. My mom and aunt were talking about how good and greasy they are. We talked about how perfect the tacos would be to have at the beach. All of us were all happy and having a good time. It was a warm, sunny day at the beach, and we were going to play and enjoy ourselves. We reached Jack in the Box and ordered the tacos, and boy were they the most amazing tacos in the world! Some sand got into one of my tacos, but I did not care, we were having a good day. Memories which are important are typically vivid and more influential than everyday random memories.

Today, just the anticipation of getting the tacos triggers good feelings which are associated with this memory. Sometimes the memory comes with it and sometimes not. It is important to understand how we relate feelings to different things in our lives, things like food, music or a voice.

For example, I used to love Aerosmith. I would listen to their songs over and over again, but never get sick of them. All this changed in the early 90’s when I took my then girlfriend to an Aerosmith concert. Things did not get well and since then I don’t care for Aerosmith much, each song reminds me of her.

I have been able to conquer my embarrassing fear of spiders, thank goodness. I managed to trace it back to a time when I was six or seven and had a run in with a black widow spider. The spider was inside of a rear window in our van. I remember the van had pin striping and the interior was tangerine orange with matching carpet. Try not to laugh too hard, it was SoCal in the 70’s. My parents were freaking out and they made my brothers and I quickly evacuate the van. Now I am able to kill spiders but if I see a big one, still gets my heart racing.

When I hear my wife yelling my name, I know it is time for me to hide in the garage or look busy fast! Sometimes a stern voice makes me feel like I did something wrong or I am in trouble. Most people like me, feel like a child, especially when someone uses my first, middle and last name. This is just one more way we associate feelings or emotions, and hold on to those attachments.

The point of all this is to show you common sense examples of learned behaviors. Emotions associated with memories trigger very powerful, behind the scenes reactions and decisions in our minds. Take a moment and think about some powerful memories you have had and think about how they might relate to other things in your life.